Welp! That streak didn’t last very long. Last week I wrote how I proudly went to the gym the previous week, and how I was looking forward to trying to maintain that pace. I’m sad to report that I did not go to the gym last week. And it’s important that I stay transparent about this. It’s been hard trying to find a balance these last few months. When I wasn’t working three jobs, I found it relatively easy to go to the gym at least twice per week. Now, I can’t manage going once.
I can’t blame the job fully on this. Part of the reason for my poor performance is the lack of sleep. I have poor discipline to go to bed at a reasonable time, so things tend to compound from there. Poor sleep leads to decision fatigue, and then it becomes easy to excuse all sorts of bad habits – further bad sleep, poor nutrition, procrastination, etc.
These failures of mine have been harsh but incredibly instructive. I’ve learned two important things about myself: I’ve learned where my limit is for how much I can juggle at any one time, and I learned a bit more about my priorities. I learned that I need structures and rules in place if I have any chance of sticking to a plan for progress. Present-Me is very bad at self-regulation and is prone to making all sorts of bad decisions. Present-Me is short-sighted, lazy, and pleasure-seeking. I want to prioritize health and fitness, but when it’s time to deliver, my priority tends to favour pleasurable activities (I’m looking at you, YouTube!).
A tired cliche is that the first step is to admit you have a problem. In this case, I have a problem when it comes to managing myself. Not sure where to turn from there, but at least we’ve drilled down to the bedrock. Let’s see where I can take this.