2018 Holiday Break

Hey there Readers!

I hope you are having a wonderful holiday season.  I’m certainly enjoying the downtime with my wife and family.  It’s nice to have a bit of breathing room.

There will be no post today.  I decided to give myself a much needed break.

I might have my books read in 2018 list ready for next week – December 31st.  We’ll see how many more books I can wrap up and whether my family time will let me get some writing done.  In the mean time, you can see my lists from 2017 and 2016.

If not, I’ll see you January 7th, 2019 for sure.

Take care and Stay Awesome,

Ryan

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Within the Sound of My Voice

I attended a wedding this weekend, and have been reflecting on the service.  Specifically, I reflected on the nature of ritual and custom.  I often find that I take certain things for granted that are ubiquitous (and therefore, mundane).  Photography can sometimes feel cheapened because technology removes  the need to conserve resources like film in order to capture perfect moments.  DJ-played music fades into the background because the setlist is nearly endless.  And, thanks to social media, it would seem that everyone in my age bracket is getting married – my awareness of the intimate details of people’s lives blurs time together into a calendar of weekends punctuated with staged, curated pictures.

But this weekend felt different.  Maybe it’s because it’s my first wedding of the summer.  Maybe it’s because I’m preparing for my own wedding.  Or maybe because I’ve been more mindful lately of meaning in my life.  For whatever reason, the wedding this weekend felt special.  I didn’t concern myself with taking photos to post online (though, I did post one during the night).  I allowed myself to be fully present in the day and to pay attention to the details that infuse weddings with meaning.

There was something the officiant said  that has been playing out in my mind – “and let those know, within the sound of my voice…”  His voice was amplified for the benefit of those in attendance, but something about that sentiment stuck with me.  The wedding was a community of loved ones who came out in support of the couple.  It was a serious and sincere declaration of commitment, and a sharing of values.  We bore witness to a promise, and in doing so added weight to it.  It was not just a promise they made to each other, but it’s a promise made real by our attendance, within the sound of the minister’s voice.

While at the outset, I suggested that technology can cheapen moments like this, but I reflected on how technology intersected with this promise.  There is the obvious case where the officiant’s voice was amplified, so in principle his voice could reach more people.  But during the ceremony, there was another kind of amplification happening.  The bride had family in the UK who were unable to attend.  Rather than missing out, cellphones were used to stream the ceremony live to family abroad.  It widened the community by being inclusive.  More people were captured within the sound of his voice.

Technology wasn’t used to mediate the experience, but rather to amplify it.  The promise of love and commitment was strengthened because it allowed for more people to experience it in a meaningful way.

It may sound painfully obvious to people more mindful than I, but I saw the wedding in a different light.  We weren’t giving a gift because it’s expected.  We were sharing so that the couple could start their new life together on the right foot.  They weren’t just feeding us food because it was expected – they were sharing so that we could join them in celebration.  We didn’t put on dress clothes because it was expected – we put on our best so that we could signal that this moment was special.  And after dinner, the music wasn’t being played because that’s just what you do.  There was more meaning behind it.  The music and dancing was a way of expressing the joy within, taking the joy and putting it out in the world.

This weekend was the first time I appreciated that weddings aren’t something “you just do.”  Everything has a reason.  Everything is purposeful.  Everything is designed for one objective: to acknowledge a promise of commitment for two people and strengthen its resolve.  I had a chance to share in that moment and I was glad I could be included within the sound of the minister’s voice.

Congratulations to the lovely couple.

Stay Awesome,

Ryan

The Importance of Making Space

I’ve been thinking a lot about space recently.  Not in the outer space sense, but headspace.  I’ve got a lot of stuff on the go and I’m finding downtime at a bit of a premium.  Between the wedding and our upcoming move (we bought a house last week!), a lot of very important things need to be done in relatively short time.  This requires me to stay on top of a lot of little moving pieces to ensure stuff doesn’t slip through the cracks.

The one thing, however, that I’m finding huge importance in is making space for more important things, like relationships.  Two weeks ago, my fiancee and I were running ourselves ragged as we worked to close a deal on the purchase of the house.  In short order, our week involved scheduling a viewing of a house that had been on the market for about 12-hours, setting up meetings with the bank, a home inspector, a basement expert, and our realtor to set up and fulfill conditions on our offer.  This required three separate trips out of town, which takes us away from our normal routine.

Last week, my fiancee suggested we take a pause from the “work” required at home, and instead for us to enjoy some downtime together.  It amounted to little more than dinner and couch time in front of Netflix, but it was exactly what we needed.  We needed to make space for us to be a couple (rather than domestic partners).  In one evening, I felt closer to my fiancee than I had in the better part of two weeks.

It reminded me why it’s important to ensure quality time together.  We might live together, eat together, and sleep in the same bed, but that doesn’t mean we are taking time to be together, present in the moment.  There is a time and place for work, but it’s important to make time and space for more important things, too.

Stay Awesome,

Ryan